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The Craig Report: Glee kissed a girl- and I disliked it

Guest Blogger Craig isn’t feeling the Glee today….

Glee kissed a girl- and I disliked it

Yeah, that title’s kind of lame but it’s all I can think of at the moment…

So I’ve been invited to be a guest blogger today, after I commented on our spoiler TV list that Glee is like one of those bad TV shows you just can’t stop watching.   Every week I tune in, and every week I say that this show is terrible and I’m not going to watch anymore.  And yet there I am last night watching again, hoping against hope that Ryan Murphy and his gang of writers will finally wake up and realize that their show is stupid.  And then I remember that Ryan Murphy doesn’t care what I think so all I can do is bitch about it to all of you people.   And while last night’s episode was far from being the worst episode of Glee ever, it may have been one of the more offensive ones.  Last season, the writers took great care to let Kurt Hummel go on his own journey regarding his sexuality and handled his storyline superbly (one of the few things Glee ever got right).  This season, apparently the writers decided “hey its time for Santana to officially be gay, so lets hold an intervention and force her to confront her sexuality even if she isn’t ready and even if she isn’t sure about it herself”.  So instead of honest conversations and heartfelt discussions, we got a bunch of random songs which just happened to have been written by women and somehow that was supposed to make Santana accept her sexuality and make us all happy.  I can think of no song less appropriate to this topic than “I Kissed A Girl” o.  Ever listen to the lyrics of this song?  Its about the exact opposite of someone coming to terms with their sexual orientation.  In fact it’s really a male dream song- guy’s girlfriend makes out with another chick and then tells him all about it and hopes it makes him happy.  Seriously, I highly doubt that the Glee writers ever listen to the actual lyrics of the songs they choose for these “kids” to sing.   And really, Finn doing a solo on a very funereal version of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”?  I like Corey Monteith but I have said it many times before- the dude should never get solos, as he’s not a good singer. Which actually wouldn’t matter if this show were realistic and had a bunch of high school kids who weren’t great singers being part of a glee club- but instead we have a bunch of twenty something actors singing songs,  many of whom are already accomplished vocalists in their own right.  But that’s a rant for a different day.  Here’s some other random things that I disliked about this episode:

-          We spent weeks building up to both the school election and the congressional election, only to have both those stories wrapped up in essentially one scene.  What was the point? And does anyone really want to watch Congressman Burt Hummel? Don’t get me wrong- I love Burt and he’s by far the most “real” character on this show, but I just never understood the point of that story.  On a related note..

-          Sue dating Cooter? Sue having a black book with names of celebrities she’s slept with? Sue … Well, really at this point anything having to do with Sue is ridiculous and annoying and makes me want to turn away from my TV.  Poor Jane Lynch- she’s a good comedic actress but she’s playing the worst cartoon character ever written.  This might not be so terrible if they just left her as a cartoon, but instead they periodically try to make her seem human, which only makes it worse. To borrow a phrase from Sons of Anarchy last night- Sue needs to die, like a lot.

-          The less said about the Shelby/Puck storyline the better. And is it me, or does Puck look like he’s 35 years old now, which makes it even harder to picture that whole story as a teacher/student relationship. Though in fairness I think Idina Menzel probably is ten years older than Mark Saling, but I digress.  This is just an offensive and irritating storyline which appears to have abruptly ended anyway.

-          What the hell has Dianna Agron done to the writers that make them hate her so much? I never thought she was a good actress but they’ve durned Quinn into possibly the least likable character on TV.  She’s really trying to get Puck to have another baby with her? That is just preposterous.  And why on earth would Puck tell her about Shelby? He just told her how crazy she was and how much help she needs, yet he’s going to reveal this secret to her NOW?  Just awful.

-          Usually at least the musical performances save the show each week.  But this week even those were seriously lacking.  I already commented on Finn’s solo and the stupidity that was I Kissed A Girl (though it was actual a good performance, just a bad song choice). I really don’t have any idea why Kurt and Blaine needed to sing that Pink song, and frankly am I the only who thinks those two have absolutely no chemistry for an alleged couple?  And why Constant Craving at the end? Santana had just found out her grandmother wanted nothing to do with her, yet she seems surprisingly happy in the next scene and then sings a song that’s just a strange song choice.

-          I think Dot Jones does an amazing job as Bieste and makes her character far more relatable than any of the other teachers in the school.  And she wasn’t bad singing Jolene, but that whole scene felt so random and I don’t know why they are torturing her by forcing her to play off scenes with Sue Sylvester’s character.

-          And now my biggest beef with the episode- what about Brittany?  So Santana’s whole sexuality story really revolves around the fact that she loves Brittany and is afraid to let people know that, even though everyone knows it.  Yet by outing Santana, aren’t they also outing Brittany?  And how is it that we did not get one single scene between the two of them in this episode?  This is one of the biggest moments in Santana’s life yet I’m supposed to think she had no discussion with Brittany about it? I just don’t get that at all. . I know Brittany is supposed to be dumb, and she probably wouldn’t care what people think about her in terms of her relationships, but they should have given her something to do on this episode.

-          Rachel Berry- she’s also become an insufferable character.  And let me see if I get this straight. . Santana was going to get suspended two weeks for slapping Finn (ok so far that makes sense).  Kurt assumed he was going to get expelled from school for election fraud. Instead, Rachel admits to the fraud and her punishment is one week’s suspension and GASP she can’t sing at Sectionals?  Wow, that’s just awful, how will she ever live with herself? Yeah, I know for Rachel not being able to sing is the worst punishment she can face.  But she should have gotten more than a week’s suspension.  I’m probably nitpicking now though.  But I always enjoy picking nits.

Well, that’s enough of a rant for now.  I’m sure if I took the time I can think of other things that annoyed me.  The only good part is that we hardly saw Shue or Emma in this episode.  And to borrow a comment I read online, now that we know Finn knows how to write on that whiteboard, do we even need Shue anymore?  B/c that seems to be all he’s there for anyway, to write down the episode’s theme.  Tune in next week for sectionals- or as it appears to be set up, the battle between New Directions and the Troubletones, neither of whom actually have enough members at the moment to qualify for Secitonals yet appear to be competing only against each other.  And thanks to Susan for letting me borrow her blog today.

November 30, 2011 Posted by | Bad TV, Glee | 2 Comments

Atlanta Night!

It’s Atlanta Night! It’s seems like things are really starting to cook on that show now. I can’t wait for Khandi to go off on Kim. I hope I hope it happens tonight.  I was just reading a preview from Zap2it.com and it sounds pretty damn good.

Click here to read it

So does Kim have a new boyfriend? Seriously? I just googled and according to Radar on line, he is about to “pop the question”. Unless that question is “What the hell am I thinking?” I don’t get it.

You can read that article here.

Anyway, there’s a little preview for you. Hopefully I will be able to blog about it tonight while I watch. I didn’t get around to watching last weeks until yesterday and when I was watching a little black cat settled down on my lap in front of the laptop, making it a little hard to type! In  fact she did it again while I started to type this. I think that means “I am hungry. Stop what you are doing!”

Oh well… I am ready for NeNe and company, what about you?

November 14, 2010 Posted by | Bad TV, Bravo, Real Housewives | 4 Comments

Strange Sex… Thanks TLC

My DVR is at 60%. I really need to clean stuff off of it..

However, TLC had other plans.

First there was a woman who had a “physical” orgasm when she gave birth to her first child. She was pregnant again and couldn’t wait to have that birthing orgasm again. That was a little more than I wanted to know. Then they showed a little too much of the birth for my taste. Well any of the birth.. just talking about the birth, is more for my taste, but this was way way way too much. Sadly she didn’t have an orgasm this time.  Just a baby boy.. not nearly as exciting, I guess.

Next: coital incontinence.  Needing to pee when you have sex. Again more than I want to know! After 2 yrs of going through pain to hold it during sex, she ended up having surgery. It is a problem caused by multiple births.. so watch out gals!

Now the episode is a woman who is.. I don’t know.. in her 70s and she was married for 25 yrs. Now she is making up for it! Since her divorce she has had over 100 different lovers. She has list of them. Her son is worried about her wasting her time, instead of finding someone more appropriate. She’s on the internet… looking for lovin’, She likes them about 50 yrs younger. She’s going for the 25 yr olds, who, according to the “expert” they just got a quote from, are tired of the women who are obsessed with their biological clocks.

I think after the commercial break we are going on date with her! EEk!

Well with that commercial break I went to cook my dinner and when I sat down to eat, I just didn’t have the stomach or the will to keep on watching. So I stopped.  However, I did set the DVR to record the new two episodes. So… there maybe more of this show to talk about! Eek!!!!

November 6, 2010 Posted by | Bad TV, Strange Sex, TLC | Leave a comment

Khandi Coated Nights- RHOA

Watching Real Housewives Atlanta. Khandi is doing a web show on cheaters and invited Kim over! Ha!

“Depends how you look at it” – It’s okay for Kim to be with Big Papa because she isn’t married, just he is!  I know that Kim and Khandi are friends but I was really expecting more out of this. I am glad that the show doesn’t totally ignore Kim’s situation but I would like to someone call her out on it once in a while, rather than just everyone accepting it.

Its NeNe’s nose reveal! She likes it! And hey, there are her breasts!  Next: A penis enlargement! How can you not love NeNe? Who else could say something like that. Who else would say something like that!

I think this Cynthia has had a lot of work on her nose. It looks like it’s been done.  In fact it’s almost as fake looking as Michael Jackson’s pointy little thing he had. It’s isn’t nearly as bad, but I don’t think anyone has that little of a nose.  However she’s only had her breasts done. She claims.

What’s up with Greg and NeNe? The bigger question is- Will Cynthia use their problems to dump fiancee #246.I always forget Cynthia is the other new person on the show. It’s must be hard to come on the show new, let alone come on new at the same time as Phaedra the Faker.

Sheree is going on a date.. and her date is bi-coastal. I wonder if that is the only thing “bi” about him?

Oh god, Phaedra! Just seeing her name on the screen makes me nauseated. Phaedra might be the most fake person I have ever seen on TV. I think she watched a lot of Rachel Zoe and decided to try and be a little like her, and a little like… I don’t know.. someone no one else would like or want to be like.

She’s doing a photoshoot with a pickle. “You can suck it, you don’t have to chew it”.   Are pregnancy photos artistic? Just because the woman is pregnant? Shouldn’t the photographer be the one who makes it artistic.  Just being pregnant doesn’t make you artistic, does it? Especially on the steps of you back deck?

Now Sheree is on her date with her “bi” coastal boyfriend who is cooking dinner and yet making that girl work! She wants dinner in a 5 star restaurant! Not being told to chop up strawberries… What’s he going to next, feed her cookie dough?  Off his fingers? She wants him to take his shirt off. At dinner. “Here it comes”.  She isn’t doing bellies anymore!  He’s more about love. She’s more about money. Show that girl the money.

We are back from a commerical break with Khandi and her daughter. Has this girl aged since last season? I guess she has a little.  She’s only 7! I thought she was about 10! Ack!  She looks 10!  They do seem like they have a really good relationship.

Cynthia is planning for a wedding when a) she hasn’t been asked yet and b) she’s gonna cancel before it ever happens.  Bra fitting time! We just found out that a “K” is a very “full” breast.  Are bras life changing?  Real high… nipples to the sky! (April am I stealing your quotes??).

Khandi is meeting with her mom. Her Mom that was such a bitch last season. I wish Khandi had a more natural color of hair. I hate that fire engine red color on her.

Kim and her daughter – who is also 7- are at some shop. A kids furniture shop, but she likes chicken. Kim then says “I’m such a great mom”.  Look spending money on your kids to buy them extravagant things that don’t need, doesn not a good mom make.

It’s raining in Atlanta. This is a disaster!  Kim is canceling. My guess is her kid isn’t really sick. Hasn’t Kim pulled that before – a lot? Oh god… Phaedra time. She would never live where Cynthia lives! It’s the hood… turned in upper class! Phaedra doesn’t do baby mama’s. So now NeNe is there.. and now Sheree and her kid.

HOLD ON! Phaedra is planning to have her kid taken out at 6-7 months?? Will a doctor do that? They are taking the baby at 34 weeks! agree with NeNe, she was pregnant before she got married and doesn’t want people to know!

Khandi’s mama was talking about dildos! NeNe can’t imagine that! Phaedra does the full act! Sheree is a lady. NeNe is nauseous!  Me too!

I bet Phaedra picked that present out, hired someone to wrap it and then had him bring it over. So obvious! NeNe’s a wide receiver in the bedroom. and Peter is going there about NeNe and Greg! He did cross a line. Don’t mess with NeNe! Khandi’s mom speaks out! Cut it off! NeNe and Khandi’s mom connected!

And my DVR quit recording as they hugged? Was that the end of the show? Is that the end of NeNe and Greg?

November 6, 2010 Posted by | Bravo, Real Housewives | 2 Comments

Losing Atlanta

Bad news fans: I wrote out a whole post on RH of Atlanta and then boom.. my computer (or my fingers) deleted it all.

Undo and Redo refused to help.

Maybe later this weekend I will rewatch the show and write another posts. Arg!!

October 30, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Out of the Womb.. On to the Runway

“The Models seem bitchy. I’m sure they didn’t walk out of the womb onto the runway” – Some ANTM model.

 

 

I like that quote. I have no idea who said it. Some mousy looking girl, but I don’t know her name. I don’t any of the names of the model in this “Cycle”. What’s with that? Why don’t I know any of their names? Are they just not picking strong personalities, or do I suffer from ANTM Apathy. You guess.

Here comes Andre Leon Talley. What’s he have on? And why?

Why is Zac Posen doing this show, by the way?

These real models are being really bitchy to the ANTM models which makes me think that is part of the plan.

I love when these girls do a talking head about what a great walker they are, and then the edit shows them trip, or someone comment about how bad they are.

Question: Do we really need both Ms. J and 3 named Talley.  I will take Ms. J instead.

I knew it was a test! Ms. J just said all the “real” models were acting! So obvious.

Anne, who has been named on top for 5 weeks, is lacking confidence and it is showing in her runway walk. I wonder how many times she will have to win before she gets some confidence!

LOOK! It’s Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel the Barker.. I mean Nigel Barker!  It looks like they are going to roller skate, but Orange Hair isn’t happy about that! (Orange is good on cats… not in people). Looks like there is a kiss coming up and Orange head is gay and upset.  Looks like she was assaulted when she was young and she is scared of kissing a man. She is flashing back. Is it rude that all I can focus on is that lock of her orange hair sticking straight up. Mr. J is going to help her.  However that hair is still sticking straight up.

Barker is on! and Orange head did okay! go Orange!

Super short hair is on now. Nigel is upset that all Supershort did was laugh. He is pissed! Go Barker!

Is someone named Esther? Whoever she is… she’s horrible! Drecktitude..Nigel says.

Jane! I only know her name as they just flashed on the screen. I think she fell alot. As did white head.

Anna the no confidence tall chick is upset. She’s too tall! Too awkward!  Falling! Now she is crying. How tall is she? 7 feet?

Mr. J says she is afraid of failing and looking like a fool. Raise your hand if that sounds like familiar!

 

Just had an ad for a new Russell Crowe movie. No idea what it is about: Someone is in prison. Russell is drawing a circle on map and tells someone he has no choice. “I had no choice but to draw that circle!!!”

Now we are at the model house. Orange hair is telling about her attack. She was assaulted for a year and a half. White hair says she will be okay because she is strong.  Orange hair (Kayla!) said she feels better.

(Note: I am not making light of this woman’s abuse. I just hate it when these realities shows show things like this for the shock of it all. This is a serious series of abuse this woman went though. A conversation with Mr. J and then her housemates isn’t going to take care of her mental status. But hey at least Tyra can pat herself on the back for addressing sexual abuse, I guess)

Now.. Judges table!

It’s three name, Tyra, Noted Fashion Photographer and Zac Posen as the judges.

Tyra and Zac are both wearing green! Exciting!

Jane is first…Zac said there was a magic moment there. They liked her.

Here’s Supershort: She’s laughing. Will Nigel go off at judges panel? He did! He called her irritating! She’s crying.. thinking of her daughter. That’s her purity.. Tyra say. WHAT?? Whatever

Chris: Really good. Why does chris look so well on film but looks like a mess in real life. She doesn’t look like the same person.

Here comes Anne: Oh no..  Horrid! Fear isn’t endearing, says Nigel the Barker.

Kayla.. Orange head. Will her abuse come out again? Nope!

White hair now:  started a mess and got better. need flirtation.

Esther: whooo bad!A mess!

Who will go home?

Best pic: Chris!

Jane, Chelsea (white hair), Kayla (orange head) and Super short are safe.

So it’s down to Anne and Esther.

I can’t see them sending Anne home after having best pic 5 times in a row.

Anne is in… Esther’s a goner! Toodles…

I won’t miss her,…. I didn’t even remember her!

 

Oh look.. They are going international soon. To Italy… who would have guessed that one?!?!! Everyone!

October 27, 2010 Posted by | ANTM, Bad TV | 2 Comments

Brothers and Sisters

 

Remember when Brothers and Sisters used to be a good show? I barely remember, but I think it is back there somewhere.  They shipped off Tommy, they shipped off Rebecca, luckily they seem to have forgotten about that other kid. Can they ship off Kitty soon? And Saul? And yes, I think Sarah needs to go away for a while too.

 

And why does Nora always need to find herself? Didn’t she open some center for cancer families? What the hell happened to that? Wasn’t that how she found herself? I am sure she probably lost and found herself a couple times before and since then.

 

Why does Kevin have facial hair?  Well okay I don’t really care about that, but I didn’t want my Matthew Rhys bias to show through. He is the reason I started watching this show and he is the reason I have stuck with it. Maybe Kevin, Scotty and their foster kids should have their own show.

 

What do we do when good shows go bad? Do we just turn them off? Sometimes you can and sometimes you get attached to one character that it is hard to do that… no matter how bad the show becomes.  What show do you still watch, even though it has seemingly fallen apart at the seams?

 

October 24, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Banging My Head Against the Bravo Wall

I think in all of my bad tv watching there is nothing that I will make me start banging my head against the wall than these “wealthy” people who seem to have no grasp in reality.  Bravo seems to excel in casting these “characters”.

I will say that probably no one annoys me than Rachel Zoe and her husband Rodger. In her season before last, Rodger kept reminding Rachel they there was a recession. And Rachel would nod, and come home with a rack of clothes. Literally a rack of clothes from a vintage store. There was one episode where a magazine was going to come over and do a photo spread of Rachel at their house. So, as we all would, Rachel ordered brand new furniture. White furniture. That looked exactly like the white furniture she already had.  And at the end of the episode she admitted that the old furniture was fairly new and rarely used.

I don’t get it.

Another big offender if Kim Zolciak of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Until she auto-tuned into a “hit” single, she only source of income seemed to be from her married boyfriend. In fact I think we were first introduced to Kim when she was at car dealership and called “big papa” to see if her would buy her an Escalade. Let me say right here, to any future Sugar daddies that might be coming my way- Don’t worry. I don’t want an Escalade. Can I have a little red Kia Soul though? Thanks Future SD.

So guess what I am watching now. Kim Zolciak. She was hired to perform at some huge gay happening. So her assistant or manager or someone who apparently is named Sweetie, made the arrangements. And as we all would, she booked her a Lamborghini AND a stretch limousine. So Kim and Sweetie are tooling around in the Lambo being followed by the stretch limo filled with their suitcases.

Who are these people?

(update: Zap2it has the unedited version of  Kim’s performance- you can tell she is obviously singing over her recorded voice:

http://tinyurl.com/27fk6ng )

The Atlanta version of Real Housewives is the only one of that series I watch. And really if it wasn’t for NeNe I don’t think I could keep watching. She might have some “wealthy-wannabe”  issues of her own, but I really think she is about the only one on the show that is “real”.  I don’t think Sheree would be hosing down her dogs butt.  No, Sheree would hire someone to do it and the go all nut case on them when they looked at her wrong.   This might be one of my all time favorite scenes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VYBek1aoUc

And who is this new chick? Phaedra? You know everything NeNe says about her is spot on.  Tonight Phaedra informed us and her husband that she plans to beat her child and we also learned that white people eat out of cans.  Repeat after me: Nut Case!

Oh Bravo.  How can this Bravo be the same network that first brought us Project Runway and still brings us Top Chef.  This channel certainly has a split personality. Andy Cohen, what have you done!

So tell me, who makes you bang your head against the Bravo Wall?

October 18, 2010 Posted by | Bad TV, Bravo | , | 6 Comments

Watching Bad TV

I am a TV addict. I am not embarrassed to admit it. A lot of my online social life is built around watching TV.  In November of 2004 I started a yahoo group for the show Lost.  At one point the Lost group had over 2000 members, and a few of us have become good friends.  From that we started other yahoo groups (Grey’s Anatomy, Battlestar Galactica, Heroes, and a general TV group).

I am a strong proponent of TV. Many people dismiss it as fluff, however, there is a lot of very good stuff out there. TV is a writers medium, and so we are lucky to get some really well written shows. For every example of shows like The Sopranos, there are also the shows that don’t get the same amount of press. Justified. The Closer. Bones.  Hey, I just named three of my favorite shows! Imagine that. And there is a lot more of the good out there….

 

And there is the Bad.

Bad TV is everywhere. It’s on Lifetime. It’s on Bravo. It’s on every network out there. And let’s be honest here, what I might call “Bad TV” might be your favorite show.  Here are some examples of the type of shows I might talk about: The Rachel Zoe Project (Don’t even get me started about that one!), Flipping Out, Real Housewives of wherever.  These are things people might refer to as guilty pleasures. These are the kind of shows that make me bang my head against the wall. And yet, I can’t turn away.  I am powerless over my remote. It has all the power.. and it refused to let me change channel.

And before you jump to the conclusion that I am watching this because “There is nothing else on”. Wrong. I have a multi-room DVR that can record 4 shows at a time.  Right now there are 124 shows on my DVR and I could watch any of them. ANY of them! However often that seems not to be the case. Like Friday night when my TV refused to turn off Lifetime and it’s REBA marathon. REBA?????

God that was hard to admit.

I have never seen the show but I knew Christopher Rich was in it, so I guess that is why I didn’t turn if off to begin with.  And it isn’t like Christopher Rich is some favorite actor of mine. Nope. I just hadn’t seen him since Murphy Brown, so I was curious.  And the show went on and on and on. Would it be rude of me to say that Reba looks about 10 years to old for Christopher Rich? I didn’t believe them as exes at all. Oh well. That certainly wasn’t the only thing wrong with that show.

Weekends tend to be the time when I do most of this type of TV watching. Any bad TV I watch during the week is intentional. On weekends.. that’s when the really bad stuff happens. Most of the time I am on my laptop and whatever is on TV (like ol’ REBA) is background.  Like tonight, as I have been writing this, I have had Law and Order SVU on thanks to a USA Marathon. It always makes me feel bad for John Munch when I watch this. He would have stayed in Baltimore.  But that’s TV.

 

So that’s it. For a start, I guess. My life, watching TV, and writing about it. Here.

And please feel free to comment on any bad tv you watch. Help me know what to stay away from!

 

 

 

 

October 18, 2010 Posted by | Bad TV, TV | , , , | Leave a comment

   

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