The Craig Report: Glee kissed a girl- and I disliked it

Guest Blogger Craig isn’t feeling the Glee today….

Glee kissed a girl- and I disliked it

Yeah, that title’s kind of lame but it’s all I can think of at the moment…

So I’ve been invited to be a guest blogger today, after I commented on our spoiler TV list that Glee is like one of those bad TV shows you just can’t stop watching.   Every week I tune in, and every week I say that this show is terrible and I’m not going to watch anymore.  And yet there I am last night watching again, hoping against hope that Ryan Murphy and his gang of writers will finally wake up and realize that their show is stupid.  And then I remember that Ryan Murphy doesn’t care what I think so all I can do is bitch about it to all of you people.   And while last night’s episode was far from being the worst episode of Glee ever, it may have been one of the more offensive ones.  Last season, the writers took great care to let Kurt Hummel go on his own journey regarding his sexuality and handled his storyline superbly (one of the few things Glee ever got right).  This season, apparently the writers decided “hey its time for Santana to officially be gay, so lets hold an intervention and force her to confront her sexuality even if she isn’t ready and even if she isn’t sure about it herself”.  So instead of honest conversations and heartfelt discussions, we got a bunch of random songs which just happened to have been written by women and somehow that was supposed to make Santana accept her sexuality and make us all happy.  I can think of no song less appropriate to this topic than “I Kissed A Girl” o.  Ever listen to the lyrics of this song?  Its about the exact opposite of someone coming to terms with their sexual orientation.  In fact it’s really a male dream song- guy’s girlfriend makes out with another chick and then tells him all about it and hopes it makes him happy.  Seriously, I highly doubt that the Glee writers ever listen to the actual lyrics of the songs they choose for these “kids” to sing.   And really, Finn doing a solo on a very funereal version of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”?  I like Corey Monteith but I have said it many times before- the dude should never get solos, as he’s not a good singer. Which actually wouldn’t matter if this show were realistic and had a bunch of high school kids who weren’t great singers being part of a glee club- but instead we have a bunch of twenty something actors singing songs,  many of whom are already accomplished vocalists in their own right.  But that’s a rant for a different day.  Here’s some other random things that I disliked about this episode:

–          We spent weeks building up to both the school election and the congressional election, only to have both those stories wrapped up in essentially one scene.  What was the point? And does anyone really want to watch Congressman Burt Hummel? Don’t get me wrong- I love Burt and he’s by far the most “real” character on this show, but I just never understood the point of that story.  On a related note..

–          Sue dating Cooter? Sue having a black book with names of celebrities she’s slept with? Sue … Well, really at this point anything having to do with Sue is ridiculous and annoying and makes me want to turn away from my TV.  Poor Jane Lynch- she’s a good comedic actress but she’s playing the worst cartoon character ever written.  This might not be so terrible if they just left her as a cartoon, but instead they periodically try to make her seem human, which only makes it worse. To borrow a phrase from Sons of Anarchy last night- Sue needs to die, like a lot.

–          The less said about the Shelby/Puck storyline the better. And is it me, or does Puck look like he’s 35 years old now, which makes it even harder to picture that whole story as a teacher/student relationship. Though in fairness I think Idina Menzel probably is ten years older than Mark Saling, but I digress.  This is just an offensive and irritating storyline which appears to have abruptly ended anyway.

–          What the hell has Dianna Agron done to the writers that make them hate her so much? I never thought she was a good actress but they’ve durned Quinn into possibly the least likable character on TV.  She’s really trying to get Puck to have another baby with her? That is just preposterous.  And why on earth would Puck tell her about Shelby? He just told her how crazy she was and how much help she needs, yet he’s going to reveal this secret to her NOW?  Just awful.

–          Usually at least the musical performances save the show each week.  But this week even those were seriously lacking.  I already commented on Finn’s solo and the stupidity that was I Kissed A Girl (though it was actual a good performance, just a bad song choice). I really don’t have any idea why Kurt and Blaine needed to sing that Pink song, and frankly am I the only who thinks those two have absolutely no chemistry for an alleged couple?  And why Constant Craving at the end? Santana had just found out her grandmother wanted nothing to do with her, yet she seems surprisingly happy in the next scene and then sings a song that’s just a strange song choice.

–          I think Dot Jones does an amazing job as Bieste and makes her character far more relatable than any of the other teachers in the school.  And she wasn’t bad singing Jolene, but that whole scene felt so random and I don’t know why they are torturing her by forcing her to play off scenes with Sue Sylvester’s character.

–          And now my biggest beef with the episode- what about Brittany?  So Santana’s whole sexuality story really revolves around the fact that she loves Brittany and is afraid to let people know that, even though everyone knows it.  Yet by outing Santana, aren’t they also outing Brittany?  And how is it that we did not get one single scene between the two of them in this episode?  This is one of the biggest moments in Santana’s life yet I’m supposed to think she had no discussion with Brittany about it? I just don’t get that at all. . I know Brittany is supposed to be dumb, and she probably wouldn’t care what people think about her in terms of her relationships, but they should have given her something to do on this episode.

–          Rachel Berry- she’s also become an insufferable character.  And let me see if I get this straight. . Santana was going to get suspended two weeks for slapping Finn (ok so far that makes sense).  Kurt assumed he was going to get expelled from school for election fraud. Instead, Rachel admits to the fraud and her punishment is one week’s suspension and GASP she can’t sing at Sectionals?  Wow, that’s just awful, how will she ever live with herself? Yeah, I know for Rachel not being able to sing is the worst punishment she can face.  But she should have gotten more than a week’s suspension.  I’m probably nitpicking now though.  But I always enjoy picking nits.

Well, that’s enough of a rant for now.  I’m sure if I took the time I can think of other things that annoyed me.  The only good part is that we hardly saw Shue or Emma in this episode.  And to borrow a comment I read online, now that we know Finn knows how to write on that whiteboard, do we even need Shue anymore?  B/c that seems to be all he’s there for anyway, to write down the episode’s theme.  Tune in next week for sectionals- or as it appears to be set up, the battle between New Directions and the Troubletones, neither of whom actually have enough members at the moment to qualify for Secitonals yet appear to be competing only against each other.  And thanks to Susan for letting me borrow her blog today.